


Morning Light

by Mangacat



Series: Cybernetics-Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Timestamp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:25:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19790845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangacat/pseuds/Mangacat
Summary: In the aftermath of their latest brush with catastrophe… Jared and Jensen finally have that talk.Picks up immediately after "Island in the Sun".





	Morning Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candygramme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candygramme/gifts), [HermineKurotowa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermineKurotowa/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I still own neither Supernatural nor any rights to the persons of Jared and Jensen (obviously they’re their own persons) and don’t make a claim to its and their creative or economic profit. Just shoveling in the sandbox for a bit, I’ll give them back after playing. Promise.
> 
> A/N: This is kinda unbelievable to me, but I’m not only promising sequels and then taking five years to write them out, nope, the bigbang is out barely a few days and you guys… I can’t tell you how much the comments and kudos mean to me that this story, this verse has gotten. So here is a deleted scene if you will, that I had planned out in my head but then decided not to include, because ‘Island in the Sun’ just reached its natural conclusion. It’s a timestamp of which there might be more, there might not, I’m not sure, but somehow I’m not ready to leave this verse alone. Thanks to all those who came on the long journey with me.  
> Fair warning, I wrote this yesterday pretty much in one sitting, and since my trusty alphareader is half a world away, it only got one editing pass after I slept on it for a night. But what can I say, I'm a fandom junkie, I couldn't wait.

Jared lies in bed and watches a slight breeze move the curtains, the streetlamp down in front of his window just visible as a warm glow. He’s save in one of the Ecuadorian embassies quite luxurious guestrooms, the bed is large and comfortable, maybe too comfortable, and his body aches from both the physical and mental strain of the past couple of days.  
He is so ready for it on every level, and yet, sleep won’t come. 

There’s a quiet click of a door somewhere behind him and then the pads of feet on the lush carpet. His right hand is balled into a fist before the sound has even finished registering, his body alert and awake in seconds, but he holds still to be able to discern whether he’s actually dealing with a threat.  
A shadow rounds the bed with obviously zero attempt at stealth and soon dissolves into a familiar silhouette, letting the tension flow out of Jared’s body like water.  
“Can’t sleep?”  
Jensen stands there for a moment, not moving a muscle and Jared watches him in the half-light, the little bandage pinching his brow, down to the bruise on his cheekbone that is by now swollen and blooming with rainbow colour. The big swath of gauze on his neck, and once more it takes Jared’s breath away how close they came to losing each other, but also how beautiful Jensen is even now, banged up and with a familiar frisson of anxiety tensing his frame. 

Jared lets the moment linger for another heartbeat, but when it’s become clear that Jensen isn’t going to answer, he pulls the sheet back, stretching out his right hand in silent invitation. Jensen finally moves then, sitting down on the bed and slipping his feet under the duvet alongside Jared’s legs and Jared turns to the side so Jensen can mould himself to his back. A hand sneaks under his arm, under his t-shirt, Jensen’s elbow coming to rest on his waist while his fingers splay comfortably over his left side, pressing into the skin where his heart is beating against his ribcage from the inside. Jared puts his own hand on top of Jensen’s with only the thin barrier of his shirt separating them and leans into Jensen so they’re pressed belly to back, ankles hooked into each other in a tangle no one would be able to separate without them noticing.  
With Jensen’s breath warmly stirring the fine hairs at the back of his neck, he’s out in seconds. 

~*~

When Jensen wakes up to the morning sunlight creeping slowly over his face, there’s a sense of déjà vu that sinks into his stomach with a sudden dread. He blinks rapidly and tries to centre himself, catalogue in his mind how he’s sprawled out like a starfish and that his left arm is numb from a considerable weight lying on it. When he turns his head that way, his breath hitches in his throat, because Jared’s lying there, fast asleep, chest rising and falling regularly and he’s whole, and right there. 

Jensen swallows down the little sob of relief at the sight and turns slowly so they’re face to face, taking care not to wake Jared because he wants to watch, map out all the little dips and grooves of Jared’s face and body, assuring himself that there’s nothing wrong with him, that he won’t just … spontaneously combust from the inside. Seconds tick by as he looks his fill, but it’s not enough, just like last time, the urge to touch rises in him like a tidal wave, but with it comes the fear that this is still not real and he’s still trapped in his own head, with a nightmare vision, unable to escape.  
Everything he’s been locking away, compartmentalizing, pushing back to get through the moment these past couple of days comes crashing into his defences and he bites his lips, trying to ride out the emotions somehow, tears silently gathering in the corners of his eyes, soon overflowing into salty tracks down his face. 

His fingers tremble when he reaches out, hovering over Jared’s skin for a moment, before they connect, brushing the corner of his eye that twitches lightly in reaction and then opens. This time he’s sure he can see the blue shimmer in Jared’s left pupil, the calibration of those marvellous little machines inside him working to give him sight and no trace of the brimstone glow anywhere. The skin in the corner of Jared’s eyes crinkles a little when he smiles at the sight he’s waking up to, until Jensen’s rather unravelled state must register and the same eyes widen with worry.  
“Jen, are you,… Jensen, are you alright? What’s…”  
“I’m ok, I’m…”, Jensen lays his hand onto Jared’s face, two days of stubble rough against his palm, brushing his thumb lightly over the thin skin under Jared’s eye, still not quite convinced it won’t flame out at a moment’s notice. He has to look away, fixes his gaze into the empty space over Jared’s shoulder, and takes a shuddering breath, grateful that Jared is waiting him out. 

He has to do this though, has to make sure to lay it all out on the table, let Jared tell him it wasn’t real in no uncertain terms or he’ll probably carry the fear of it with him for the rest of his life.  
“They… I was drugged, after I severed the connection, they knocked me out with… something. I don’t know what it was, if it was just so they could work their little gadget on or whether it was supposed to… Anyway they put me under and I had a dream. A hallucination, and it felt so real, down to the scent of the coffee, I can’t tell you…” Jared lays his hand on Jensen’s shoulder, just lightly rubbing down his arm, but he doesn’t say anything, letting him get it all out at his own pace.  
“You were there, outside on the porch, waiting for me and… we kissed, like, one of the really good ones, you know?” Jensen looks down then, searching Jared’s eyes and holding the memory of it in his mind for a moment, so that Jared can see what that kiss did to him, even if happened in a drug induced fever dream.  
“And then you just… started burning up, like…”, his breath shudders out with the rush of words, “everything I put inside you, keeping you alive was just… slowly turning into ash and you couldn’t feel it, couldn’t see it, but I saw, that ember fire creeping along inside your body, and I couldn’t do anything, couldn’t fix it, it just kept going. I was going to lose you and there was nothing, nothing…”

The words leave him then, but Jared doesn’t need to hear anymore, he drags Jensen close, pressing his hands into Jensen’s back, a bear hug if there ever was one and whispers, with his lips brushing over the shell of Jensen’s ear: “I’m here, shhh, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, it’s alright, it’s alright.”  
And Jensen then feels a splash of wetness at the base of his throat because Jared’s crying too and they’re a right mess, aren’t they, but then they’re also kissing, the same meeting of lips and tongues, back and forth, with both of them giving no ground, desperately trying to affirm to each other that they’re whole, they’re here, they made it through. They’ve spent enough time in bed together to know their bodies, to be able to elicit certain reactions, satisfy their needs, but this is different, this is deeper, raw and untamed, if no less honest than before. 

When they part for a moment to catch their breath, foreheads touching, noses pressed against each other, air mingling between them, Jared starts talking:  
“The moment you were gone from my head, I … I’ve always felt like there was this… presence, that I couldn’t switch off, no matter if the tech was dormant, that I couldn’t escape from because it was always riding with, you know, a part of my body that was still just not my own. Even if … not all the time, or not much anymore lately, you _have_ gotten better at respecting my privacy after all”, he adds with a little chuckle. His eyes are closed, but Jensen is watching every minute twitch under his lids, the way the skin wrinkles in the corners, feels the way Jared’s heart beats faster against his chest. 

“But until, … until you were… gone, with no way to know what was going to happen to you, if I ever got to see you again, got to hear your voice again in my ear, without that connection to fall back on, know there was someone out there, looking out for me, to be there whenever I needed you… it. If the situation wasn’t life or death, if I didn’t have to get out, to find a way back to you, if I had time to process… I think it would have broken me.”  
The last words are a whisper barely loud enough for Jensen to hear, but they don’t miss their mark, cutting to the core of what he’d tucked away for such a long time, content to take what they had under the circumstances and maybe, maybe feed it from time to time with a small bit of hope.  
Still, Jared’s next make his world grind to a halt.  
“I think I’m in love with you.”

The moment hangs between them, and for all of his genius abilities, Jensen doesn’t know what to do with it, now that it’s out in the open. The words tumble out before he can think about them.  
“I think you’re right.”  
Jared draws back, looking stunned for a moment: “I’m… glad you agree.”  
“No, no, that’s not what I… that came out wrong, what I meant was, I…”  
Jensen knows he’s babbling, and for all that he started this, he’s desperately willing Jared to understand, to letting him off the hook on actually putting his feelings together into coherent words. But Jared just lies there, waiting him out again, earlier annoyance smoothed out of his face in favour of an indulgent smile and the bastard is enjoying this, isn’t he?

Jensen licks his lips, tries to bring his thoughts into some semblance of order.  
“I’ve… I’ve loved you for such a long time, in different ways, as a friend, as a partner in this impossible endeavour, for the man that you are, who you’ve become. But there was no space to be _in love_ and I knew that and it was fine that way, but now,” he looks up at Jared, thinking back to those first moments, down in a bunker in the New Mexican desert, where he felt a connection from the very beginning that was doomed to be tread on by circumstance again and again… and for Jared to confirm now that he feels the same, finally, it’s… 

“We’ve spend a long time together because we needed to be, because we could trust only each other, but I never felt that it wasn’t worth it. And now that we maybe look at getting out from under all that, now that we get to choose, I still want to be with you, just because…”  
“…you could have just said ‘I love you back’.”  
Jensen looks at Jared, tries to get the words out of his mouth, but stuck in his throat between a laugh and a sob, and he’s made a right mess of it all, and Jared…  
“…but I’ll take it,” Jared draws closer again for a kiss, just a simple brush of lips, and whispers against his mouth “I’ll take all of you, your brilliant mind, your jagged edges, your beautiful banged up face, whether we’re on the run or not, I’m not letting you go again, alright?”

Jensen holds Jared’s gaze, searching his face and realizes, that yes, they’re actually on the same page and whatever he was trying to say with his incoherent explanation, Jared got it.  
And suddenly it’s as if every drop of want he’s tried to damn up in the past three years is slamming into his body all at once, driving him forward into Jared’s embrace again, lips and teeth and scrambling hands that are trying to get underneath cotton fabric to get at as much skin as possible.  
And Jared is right there with him. 

He can barely let go long enough to tug his own t-shirt over his head, Jared following his lead and then they’re back at each other, heedless of bruises and aching bones, just losing themselves in the brush of skin on skin, lips, hands, teeth scraping over one of Jared’s pecs making him draw a sharp breath that turns into a groan when Jensen presses the flat of his tongue against the spot to sooth the sting, passing over one pebbled nipple. He pushes Jared down onto his back, sliding between his legs in the same move and proceeds to devour him, catching Jared’s wandering hands and pressing them into the pillow next to his head, while their hips align for some delicious friction. He pants helplessly into Jared’s chest when he starts to match the rhythm, rolling his hips into Jensen’s and the barrier of their sleeping pants is driving him mad, so he lets go of one of Jared’s hands, trusting that he got the message to keep them still and reaches back to shove them back over his buttocks, then slipping his hand underneath to tug the fabric down over Jared’s hips. And then finally, even tangled up as they are, they’re sliding skin on skin, trapped between their bellies with only sweat and pre-come to ease the way. Jensen pushes up onto one arm to be able to look down the length of their bodies, watching the slip and slide of their cocks against each other with a raw sound in the back of his throat. It’s almost but not quite enough, so he doesn’t object when Jared’s arm moves down between them, taking them both in hand, thumb swiping over the heads to gather more pre-come, sliding slowly downwards. It’s still rough and with just a little firmer grip than Jensen generally likes, but they’re both way past the point of caring about small details like that. 

Jensen looks back up then, catches Jared’s eyes, heart beating fast in his chest and his arm already trembling from holding up most of his weight, but he can’t do anything more than move his hips into the firm strokes and sink into Jared’s eyes, cataloguing every minute stirring of emotion on his face.  
They’ve had sex plenty of times, to let off steam, to reassure each other they’re alive and breathing, to hold each other close when the longing for friends and family got too much, but never like this, with everything laid out between them.  
With the promise of a future.  
In that moment, Jensen bends close and mouths the words into Jared’s jaw, earning a deeply dimpled smile, capturing it in another searing kiss, taking Jared’s gasped breath into himself like it’s giving him life while he hangs over the precipice, fingers dug in to hold out just a little, stretch this moment.  
And then with a shudder and twist of Jared’s hand, they’re there. 

Jensen comes back to himself pressed against Jared, head on his chest with his breath still going fast while the heartbeat under his cheek is already slow and steady as can be. He feels Jared brush a small kiss against his sweaty forehead and lifts his head slightly to be able to look and see his partner, in every sense of the word. For a second, a sliver of doubt tugs at his heart, that it was just a spur of the moment thing; that they’ll go back to what they were before. But before his anxious mind can run anywhere with that, he sees it all written out on Jared’s face, how everything’s changed between them even though much will remain the same.  
“Oh yeah, don’t you worry, we’ll be doing a lot more of _that_ from now on.”  
“More of what exactly? Having mind-blowing sex? Sleeping with each other? Confessing our deepest feelings after escaping certain death?”  
“All of it. Well… minus the life-threatening kidnapping type situations, those I’ve really had enough to last a lifetime. But everything else…”  
A brilliant smile lights up Jensen’s face. “Yes. Yes, I’d like that, very much.”

The end (or so I keep thinking, but what do I know. ;)


End file.
